Episode 23: Best Two Out of Three

“That was… interesting,” Senator Travis confided to Mike. “You know, when someone says their pronouns are ‘they/them,’” he shook his head, “what I hear is ‘my name is Legion.’” The senator smiled.

Dr. Andrews, lost in thought, didn’t answer.

“You’ve been awfully quiet this morning, Mike,” Senator Travis observed at last. “Anything wrong?”

“Just…” Mike offered a weak smile, “just wrestling with temptation.”

“Oh?” Senator Travis smiled broadly. “Who’s winning?”

Mike paused to consider his answer.

“I think maybe I better go for best two out of three,” he finally replied, “just to be sure.”

The senator chuckled. “Well, get your head back in the game, son. You could be up later this afternoon. We both need to be sharp to deal with all the fallacious and circular ‘logic’ the other side is throwing about.”

The superintendent approached them, looking furtively over his shoulder to make sure he couldn’t be overheard.

“Have you guys been watching the news?” he asked in a low but urgent tone.

“No,” Senator Travis replied. “We’ve been a bit busy, here. Why?”

“It’s all over all the networks,” the superintendent explained breathlessly, “what a bad person Dr. Andrews is because he won’t just apologize for hurting his student’s feelings. I’ve even gotten calls at the central office. The phone’s ringing off the hook demanding that I do something about it. The comment page on our website. Our Facebook page. My email inbox. They’re all full of messages from people demanding that Dr. Andrews apologize. I think you should make a statement.” He looked at Dr. Andrews. “Just tell them you’re sorry, Mike, so they’ll stop trying to call us out.”

Senator Travis frowned. “That’s not going to be helpful,” he cautioned. “Like I was telling Mike’s young lady friend the other day, an apology would be used as evidence of Mike’s guilt.”

“That doesn’t matter,” the superintendent insisted. “It’s just a thousand-dollar fine if he loses, and I agreed we’d cover it. We’ve got his back on this. He’s even on paid leave and got to take a week off from teaching. But, I need Mike to take the pressure off us at the school district by apologizing.”

“He did nothing wrong,” Senator Travis declared. “He has nothing to apologize for.”

Senator Travis stood, towering over the superintendent. “Now, if you have nothing further constructive to add, we have to get ready for Mike’s testimony.”

Mike looked thoughtfully at the superintendent storming off.

“Let’s head downstairs and update your testimony over lunch in light of what Buchmann had to say just now,” Senator Travis directed as the officer moved in to escort Mike.

Senator Travis’s aide showed up bearing bags emblazoned with golden arches in one hand, a drink caddy in the other, and a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“McDonalds, again. Sorry, Senator,” she apologized. “Only place fast and close by.”

“I can’t believe this backwards place doesn’t have a single Whataburger,” Senator Travis fumed. “Or Taco Cabana? Or Schlotzsky’s? Or even a Chick-fil-A? Hell, I’d be ready to try a hot dog from Buc-ee’s at this point. Talk about a ‘food desert!’”

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